This I love
by malifcbfan1899
Summary: Klaus' thoughts after the events in episode 13, season 4. Based on the song "This I love" by Guns'n'Roses. I don't own anything.


**A short continuation of one of my favourite scenes in TVD. I hope you'll enjoy :)**

She left.

No 'thank you'. No 'goodbye'.

She left me alone. Without a single word.

She should have said something to me. Anything. I don't know how she could leave without at least a 'goodbye' after everything we had shared with each other.

I cannot explain what happened between us today. All I know that I almost let the woman that I fancy die. I cannot say that I love her. It would imply that I care.

But, I cannot care, I must not care. Caring isn't what has been keeping me alive for all this years. I've killed my friends, my family whenever I sensed they became dangerous for me. She is no different. If I allow it, she will become my weakness. And I have too many enemies to allow myself a weakness.

And that is precisely what today's events were; few moments of my weakness. I saved her, again. But, this was the last time. The feelings that she woke up in me; compassion, regret, even, dare I say it, love; they were all lies. I do not love Caroline Forbes, I know it.

_I know you are in love with me._ suddenly, I hear her words in my mind, so vivid as if she is lying in front of me murmuring them all over again.

_I am not._ I protest. _How could you possibly think that?_

I've asked her the same question once before. Her answer is still the same.

_Because I've seen it._

And I can't deny it. I can't deny the pain that I felt when I thought I lost her. I can't deny the hope I felt when she said that she still believed I could be saved. I can't deny the warmness that spreads through my body every time I look at her. I am no slave to either sun or the moon, but that means I live in darkness. And she possesses the light, the light that draws me to her. She is like a glass of fresh water and I'm a man dying of thirst.

That is the biggest difference between us. Alright, that and the fact I'm thousand years old and she hasn't even reached her twentieth birthday yet. But in some other things we are more similar than both of us care to admit.

She likes the person she is now, just like I like her. She is strong, fearless, fierce, beautiful. Maybe I'm trying to deny my feelings for her, but I'm not the only one in denial. Human beings are weak compare to vampires and she couldn't stand being weak again. I can see it in her eyes. This is the life she wants, a life like mine. I can offer her the best of this life. I can show her the entire world, all its miracles. And I will be waiting impatiently for that day to come, when she finally realizes what she is made for. She will realize is sooner or later. I hope it would be sooner.

She makes me feel alive in a way I have never been before. During all the long years of my life, I have seen most of the world, met all kinds of people, but I have never belonged anywhere. Home is where the heart is, so it's said. But my heart has never belonged anywhere. Maybe it did all those years ago when my youngest brother was still alive and we were a normal family, but since then I've been wandering around the world, afraid of staying, always looking back, never belonging.

But, with her the world seems different. Even I can belong in the world as it is in her eyes. I can be happy in that world. I can be happy with her by my side.

And she can be happy with me by her side. I remember how we laughed together at the Miss Mystic Falls election. I remember her smiling at me. At that moment I didn't care about the cure, about Tyler Lockwood's plans of my death, about anything. All that mattered was the smile on her face. It was honest, devoted only to me. Then I told her the story about the only time I had wished I was human. She understood it the way I wanted her to. For those few moments she saw the world through my eyes. And I'm sure she loved what she saw. That was the first time I was convinced not only that I could love her, but that she could love me back.

But, I know these feelings that she has for me cause her pain. I've tried to kill almost each of her friends, sired her boyfriend, done absolutely everything to earn her hatred. But, she doesn't hate me and perhaps that is what hurts her the most. She is trying to keep it secret inside herself, but we know each other too well to be fooled. She cares for me and knows that I care for her.

It's foolish from both of us, but love has always been and it will always be a foolish thing. I know it, but I can't help myself. I don't want her to leave my side ever again. I need her, the person who understands me, whose heart desires the same things as mine. If I had let her die today, the part of me would have died as well, I can see it now. Persons like her are born once in a thousand years. If I had chosen my pride over her, I would have spent one more millennium alone and half-alive.

I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of not being loved. I'm tired of not loving.

_Caroline._ my voice sounds so desperate in my memories. It probably was. I couldn't lose her. I couldn't say 'goodbye' to her. I doubt I will ever be able to. _Caroline._

There is one thing I forgot to tell her. I'm aware that, now when I'm alone and she is not here, it doesn't count, but I still say it out loud.

"I love you."


End file.
